Boundaries can be physical, emotional, financial, or spiritual and can be anywhere from loose to rigid. When we set our personal boundaries, we should come from a place of self-compassion and kindness. This is very important to our relationships with ourselves.
Our boundaries are ideally put in place to ensure the stability of our emotional, financial, spiritual, and mental health. The boundaries we set not only define how we allow people to treat us but also how we treat ourselves. They are part of who we are and often are indicative of our personality. In order to have a good relationship with ourselves we need to set the boundaries which will bring us comfort and stability and happiness.
Our physical boundaries are mainly tied to how we are willing to interact with other people. These boundaries pertain to the level of physical contact we are willing to allow from other people. When we set our boundaries and state them clearly, we empower ourselves and boost our confidence.
Emotional boundaries dictate how we react to other people’s emotions and problems as well as our own. Therapist Hannah Rose LCPC suggests that healthy emotional boundaries mean that we first take care of ourselves before caring for others. Our emotional health needs attention first and foremost if we wish to have the strength to assist others around us.
If we invest more time in other people’s problems than we do our own, we let our life run out of control. When we do not have the emotional strength to manage our own life, let alone to support family and friends, then we must make our boundaries clear. All relationships are a two-way street and allowing people to dump their emotional baggage on you without reciprocating depletes you.
Our moral boundaries are the ones that most clearly define us. They pertain to our belief system and what we view as right and wrong. This could mean that when we see activity, we find to be wrong we are willing to stand up against it. We all have different beliefs and morals which can change over time. Standing up for and living by these morals is what helps us have a good relationship with ourselves. It does not mean we cannot listen to other points of view but it is important we feel comfortable that we are following our own morals.
Setting Your Boundaries
Psychotherapist Abigail Brenner M.D. reminds us that it isn’t easy to set personal boundaries especially when others are more concerned with their needs than yours. However, there are a few tips that can help with setting and enforcing boundaries which include:
- Know Yourself: In order to define your boundaries, you must develop a deep sense of yourself. You can not enforce your boundaries until you know what they are.
- Take Care of Yourself: Selfishness is not always a bad thing, even on planes in an emergency you should help yourself before assisting others.
- Respect Yourself: Use your experiences and the mistakes you have made to help form your personal boundaries.
- Require Integrity: Don’t let others push you into doing things that aren’t in your best interest. Being guilted or crossing your own lines shows that your own self-worth and self-value need some reinforcement.
- Expect Pushback: When you begin to set boundaries, those who are used to crossing them will push back. That shows more about who they are then the correctness of your boundary. Hold firm.
You teach others how to treat you by which boundaries you let them cross.
Having trouble figuring out your boundaries? Need help learning to hold them gracefully? Find a Natural Bioenergetics Specialist to help you remove the stress, clear your understanding and strengthen your resolve. You are worth it.